Gays and Lesbians dropping like flies from TV

A slight decline in the number of gay/ lesbian characters on TV has recently caught the attention of the LGBT and GLAAD communities. I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, but it does kind of strike me as a strange occurence. Actually, just the other day while watching one of the last episodes to Season 6 of Smallville, I was commenting in my head that it's nice how much strong lesbian and gay characters have been appearing on TV. Although she's gone, Rosie O'Donnell should still be considered one for when she was on The View. It's one thing to portray a gay/lesbian/bi character, but it's another thing to stand up for what you believe in and be who you are in front of millions of people of which many of them can be overly critical of the fact that you're that upfront about it. ABC is currently the broadcasting network with the most shows involving gay/lesbian characters as they "show their support." That's fine... but what's all the fuss about the decline? It's not that anyone is saying they're getting rid of them altogether. Who's making all the hoopla about it anyway? LGBT? GLAAD? Being a part of the LGBT community I can say this: You're here to help us have equal rights, not pick fights.

James Brown's estate up for grabs?

LaRhonda Petitt, a 45-yr. old retired flight attendant and school teacher says she has spent her whole life walking around looking like her daddy, namely James Brown, and wants a piece of what was in his will. I have to say, like in my previous blog regarding the King of Soul, or as I've liked to refer to him as Poppa Dynomite, the MAN IS DEAD people... let it go. His Last Will and Testament has 6 legitimate children listed; if you haven't been around to be acknowledged as someone he was close to, get over it - you're not getting a piece. What kills me is that Petitt was quoted saying, "I'm not talking no negative talk, I'm talking about what's right." Well... it's a good thing she retired from teaching because her English is "hurt." Darlin' if you're going to go public, know what you're going to say and say it right - and then of course don't attempt a lesson in morals or on how to tell the difference between right and wrong. Will somebody summon the Whaaaambulance on this lady? Please.... before someone else wants another scrap of carpet from the dead man's house.

The best way to show off to your girl is to shove a live snake in your mouth

A Portland, OR guy found a 20-inch rattler off a highway and took it home with him. To show off to his ex-girlfriend (did he really think this would win her back?), he decided to grow a set of balls and stuck the snake in his mouth. The snake got smart and grabbed a hold of the guy's tongue (probably tried to mate with it). Yes, the guy was drunk... not just on a 6-pk but had a mix of stuff. His tongue was swollen and blocked his airways - the nice ex took him to the hospital since she was the only sober one (they were at a friend's BBQ). The tongue was so swollen that doctors couldn't put a breathing tube down his throat and had to go into his chest.

Didn't mommy ever tell you not to put anything flammable, poisonous or sharp in your mouth? Well snakes are included dumb-ass! A nice round of applause (and 10 out of 10) for Mr. Wilkinson of Portland, OR... no one said we were perfect out here. But as we like to say, "KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD!"

San Francisco goes back to the Dark Ages

In late October, San Francisco will be turning out the lights to both the Bay Bridge and Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz Island, City Hall and most municipal buildings and will keep them that way for an hour to help promote a campaign to conserve energy and fight global warming. Well, considering that I used to live in the SF area for over 20 years I can say this: they need to do this for more than a fucking hour. If they were smart, that need to do this for 7 hours - 1 hour each day of the week. The way the people live and work in the City, and hour won't even cause a dent. Their goal is 15% conservation of electricity that is normally used on a Saturday night. Here's an idea: Shut down all the night clubs early! Maybe that'll also help lessen crime and accidents from intoxicated assholes roaming the streets in one clean swipe!

Period - that "time of the month"

It's called that because it happens once a month, in a perfect world... but it's also because it's that time of the month when you want to stay the hell away from mean bitches like me. This cycle is probably one of the worst I've had in a while. I used to have them pretty bad during high school where I couldn't go to school because I'd be bed ridden. As I get older it seems to only get worse with each passing month. This time around, my emotions are so friggin' fragile that even a sarcastic joke will get me to break down. I don't even want to have rugrats squeezed out of me so I feel like having my period is pointless. Men should have it too. All they get to deal with is "morning wood," "blue balls," sometimes pain when they pee. Hell at least they get to aim... Why God, why?!?!?!?

Phone Etiqutte out of style

One of the rudest things to do is tell someone you're going to call them back and then you don't. Naturally if you don't like the person and you're just trying to avoid them, then it's acceptable. But for people who you intend on staying friends with, or people you know you want to maintain good contact with for the sake of keeping them in your life, period... for God's sakes call them when you say you will!

My shit-list has this as one of the top-ranking items that is a pet peeve of mine. I like to have certain people make sure to call me when they're going out of town for what ever reason... I want to know that they're safe, etc. When I don't get a call like they say they will, I not only freak out, I get PISSED OFF in a big way. NO ONE wants to deal with my temper. Anger issues? Nah... but you definitely want to stay away from my dark side. Same goes for emails. If you say you're going to email someone back, do it. It takes less effort than having to come up with something to say and how to say it over the phone. Call it being anal, but hell, I like it.

O.J. was just from concentrate - he's free... again...

O.J. made bail... a flippin' mere $125K. Considering all his charges and their corresponding severities, and then of course "just because," I would've made his bail amount and to be too high for him to pay so that he could sit and ferment in his cell where he belongs. He does nothing positive in life nor does he do any good for society. He needs to be taken out of circulation and forced to provide services to any "needy cell mates." Let's see how he likes that. He makes me sick.

Someone get me my personal whaaaambulance... I'm about to pass out. Just whatever you do, don't make me drink OJ... I'm allergic.

O.J. Simpson is riding the Whaaaambulance to Jail!

So the public put the squeeze on O.J. (no pun intended) and have pushed on with 11 charges that included kidnapping, armed robbery and assualt; this will put him in jail for the rest of his life - not like he may have much left at age 60 the way he's been carrying on. And have you checked out his most recent mugshot? Dickhead is smiling! Pathetic. Someone call me two whaaaambulances... he needs one for him and one for his memorabilia that's precious enough to committ a hideous crime. You've topped my shit list boy!

Saggy pants - a thing of the past - NOT!!!!

Folks in Atlanta, GA want to illegalize the fashion trend that was allegedly started in prisons. The sagging pants, that cause a good chunk of punks to strut their stuff and show what kind of underwear they're wearing, may soon be met with run-ins with law enforcement including a field trip and hands-on experience in jail. An example of this was made in Louisiana where if one were to be caught showing their boxers and/or buttocks, they received both a $500 fine and 6 months in jail; The fine City Officials in Trenton may just send one of guilt to a City worker where they will assess where you're headed in life.

The legend is that this fad began in prisons due to the lack of belts being given to the inmates so they can not be used for hangings or beatings. As a result, the fad caught on with rap artists and such in the late 80's, where they could be seen in rap videos; then the skater people decided to embrace the fad soon thereafter.

Some experts are led to believe that young people do this as a sign of rebellion and identity; they don't think of it as much as a fasion statement and don't find it to be negative.

Can this merely be a stereotype? I mean, I've seen plumbers and painters who don't show off their boxers but the cracks of their asses and I don't hear about those guys getting jailed or fined. I for one sag my pants to a point where you can only see the waistline of my boxers. I do this for personal reasons: I like the way it looks and it's comfortable. No one wants to see another person's ass (unless you like them of course) or what underwear they wear, but if it's going to come down to applying jail time with a fine, then will someone start to bring in the flood look back - come back with a "cool Steve Urkel look?" Kids are impressionable - if they like what they see, they will want a part of it. Otherwise, come up with another fucking solution. This is just more excuses for major cities to make bank off of the innocent who want to look good - I'd rather jail a pedophile than someone who doesn't know how to dress.

Anyway, do we have this much room in jails nationwide? Throw me a freakin' bone here!

Slappin' a big 10 on these assholes my friends... someone throw them in the dog house until the Whaaaambulance shows up.

Screwy bill collectors

You call to give them money, but then they either don't pick up the phone or you're put on hold for 72 minutes and 33 seconds. Yeah... I spent part of my weekend making sure my Money Gram payment reference number was received due to an email saying my payment was late. Naturally I was like, "WTF?" I call the person that told me to call to talk to them and leave them the reference number... were they there? Nope... not only that, but I got to sit on speaker phone for those 72:33 minutes listening to the same, repeated, god-awful elevator music, which was like a cross-over of Kenny G and Chris Botti meets John Tesh.

Attention Bill Collectors: If you don't want your flippin' money, then stop blowing up my phone and email! Whaaaaaaaa... tell Uncle Sam, the IRS and BBB to tell the bill collectors to go to hell! The whole damn country is in debt... you don't hear about bill collectors calling GW Bush at 8 AM on a Saturday morning!

O.J.'s "sting," the perfect plan!

It was one thing to deny his involvement with Nicole's death... but to think it was okay to head and operate what he referred to as a sting operation (obviously went awry) to get what rightfully belonged to him only said one thing to me: He's guilty and always will be. The man hasn't thought straight in over 10 years. I'm telling you, he's lost the stitching and fluff to his football. 10 for the pig-skinned sorry ass; while he's on the Whaaaambulance, the Petty Wagon is going to be closely tailgating him to make sure he doesn't make a run for the goal posts.

The bus ride from hell

Yes, another bus ride story... this was extraordinarily annoying.

The same loud mouth that usually gets on the bus screaming into her pink RAZR hasn't been on her phone the past week which has been nice. But today, she gets on and decides to stand right next to where I was seated and kept hitting me with her fat ass. I mean, every jolt of the bus caused her to hit me. Finally she moved down after several more people boarded the bus. Then this older couple (middle-aged) got on with luggage. The wife had the largest luggage, poor thing... and the husband had the smaller carry-all with something around his back. The guy decides to plant the carry-all right next to my hip where everytime the bus moved, he'd move and hit the luggage, causing it to pinch the skin on my thigh. Finally I shoved the luggage with my knee, got up and changed my seat. The wife told him that he had hit me - d'oh, I forgot that part - before he got "comfortable" standing next to me, he swung around to face his wife, which caused him to hit my face with whatever that thing was he was wearing on his back. Towards the end of it all, I saw a seat up towards the front become free, so I took it. The couple stared at me and the wife started to chew him out.

I needed the whaaaambulance there to feed me a Chai Latte with soy through an IV tube.

More celebrity bashing - J. "Ho" is NOT being original

It was cool and all when J. Lo hit it big in the box office by portraying Selena, God rest her soul... but to try and be like her is just too much for me to swallow.

The dancing on In Living Color was sweet... the new look she had when she came out with her first album was cool... then more albums, more videos, and her "relationships" with Ben Affleck and P. Diddy... started her up the shit pile. We later added more movies, and then her own fragrance - that wasn't nearly enough for the Latina Wonder (as in "I wonder why"). But now, she's got a clothing line out! Selena had a VERY similar career track and dream that were never lived out due to her untimely death. J.Lo needs to take a different road instead of hogging someone else's. So far she's managed a 9... her Whaaaambulance broke down so now I gotta send out the Petty Wagon.

Celebrity bashing for the middle of the week

The more I hear about random celebrity news, the less I appreciate them. And if it weren't crap on a celebrity, it's on well-known peeps.

First on the agenda: Kanya has taken the Whaaaambulance from his hometown of Atlanta to Chicago and to Vegas and back to the East Coast making sure he's heard. Not only was this cry-baby rapper whining about not winning, again, but he had to hate on MTV'S production of this year's VMA. He put the full blame on the ratings being all sucky because they wanted to put Britney on the stage thinking it'd be a profitable move on their part. Guess what Kanye? It ain't all about you!!! Britney crapped on herself, not MTV. Now stop being a whiney-ass and put something out there that's worth an award.

Put the man... er, excuse me, little boy, back on the Whaaaambulance and send him back to School of Whiners where they get paid to care. BIG 10 MY MAN!

A robber needs a hard-on too... sometimes...

TOTALLY random... I had to laugh my ass off at this...

A 24 yr-old dude in St. Paul decides to go into this woman's house and demands her cellphone and keys. After she handed those over, he made himself right at home... he took off her shoes and decides to lick her toes.

WTF? What ever happened to good ol' fashioned porn? And what about strip joints? I'm sure if you pay enough they'll let you lick their toes... Well if you're into toe-jam then fine!

Ugh... 8 out of 10 for the Toe Fettish Freak

Senior Citizens are not such an easy target for robbery

I wouldn't think of taking advantage of old people... EVER. I've seen old people who were made to stand on fast moving buses where the drivers love to slam on their brakes and the poor old people go flying across the way, landing on other passengers or lose their balance and have a bad fall. Then you've got the ones who look helpless but dress nice for the mall because they like to and want to... you think they're made of money... and then the bad thought runs across the greedy people's minds...

My dad was attacked in the parking lot of our local shopping mall a few years back... he was just minding his own business while walking to the car so he could drive up to the mall entrance to pick up my mom. Then this teenage Asian punk accompanied by two others came up behind him and pushed him against the car demanding his wallet. My dad refused, which prompted the asshole to swing at him... but instead, he missed and my dad punched him instead. The kid's two cronies did nothing but stare and then ran for it. Little did they know my dad used to be a fighter and was in the military. Don't mess with the bull if you can't take the horns!

Anyway, a 74 yr-old guy in NY almost fell vicitim to a similar asshole who demanded his wallet by using a tire iron as a threat. The old man fought and managed to take control of the tire iron. Needless to say the guy was a fool and was later caught and arrested for attempted robbery. Have people become that desperate that they feel the need to mess with the old folks? I can't say much for my dad's situation but this NY guy was lucky... a nice round 10 for the prick who didn't know what a tire iron was really for.

Oops, she... did it again! Hit her baby, One More Time!

How many more times does Britney Spears need to sabotage what's left of her career?

The media has covered a plethera of descriptions pertaining to her performance at this year's MTV's VMA, ranging from "sluggish" to "slothy" and "pathetic" to just plain "lazy." I'm inclined to agree with all of the above. She was reportedly spending the previous days to her (ahem) unforgettable performance partying in lights of Las Vegas. With the available footage of her during rehearsals, even then did she appear to be lifeless. Some are led to believe her weight gain from having her kids is what caused her slow movements - I say it was that god-awful weave... maybe too big for her? Or not a whole lot of brain to balance the weight on her scalp... what ever her excuses may be, she needs to look into early retirement. Bitch needed the Whaaaambulance a LONG time ago... better bring out the hearse too while we're at it.

Ode to Nagging

It's been enough that I do a job that involves assisting a firm of 20...

It's enough that all I want to do when I'm home is relax and do nothing...

I never thought home life was a continuation of the 8-hour work day...

I'd do more if I had the motivation, but once 5:30 hits, I want lay low.

I'm sorry if I'm not up to your standards or expectations...

But I'm not sorry for being me.

I don't have the ability to create time and focus like you have been able to for your job; you luckily have a better work enviornment than I do.

My focus has gone from a lot to nill, all because of a simple nagging job.

Cut a bitch some slack!

A high 10 for ya! The Whaaaambulance is brining luxury your way!

Notorious chocolate craving – and it isn’t even PMS time…

For the past 3 months, I’ve been getting these strange cravings right around the same time of day – just before lunch and just after dinner. My body has been in strong need of chocolate. I’ve tried to fix the craving by drinking the hot chocolate that the office provides, but it doesn’t cut it. I try not to buy any chocolate, but anytime I’m sent out on an errand, it’s hard not to get anything. We’re talking a plethora of chocolate, ranging from Cadbury™ Fruit & Nut, Caramello™, Irish Crème, and English Toffee flavors… then Twix™, Milky Way™, Whoppers™, Mr. Goodbar™… I’m like, “WHY GOD? WHY?” When I actually able to have my chocolate fix, I find myself with the ability to finish all of what I have in one sitting. How is this healthy? When I’m done, I drink a shit load of water, not that it washes away the bad stuff. When I am unable to have a fix, I want to get high. When I can’t even get into that state, I sit like a zombie. Why can’t chocolate come as easy as running water?

STOP REQUESTED

Many of you who take public transportation know and understand the importance of pulling the string on the bus that helps you get off at your stop. Once you hear, “DING!” you know you’re getting ready to off-board. Just to make sure, you look up to see if the STOP REQUESTED sign lit up in red… and it did. Well, in a perfect world the bus driver knows that someone wants to get off at the next stop. For the second time in a week, my bus driver went past my stop and went to the next which is 4 city blocks away, as opposed to my actual stop which takes me half a block away from my office. Either the man is deaf or he’s losing his touch. He has been my driver for the past month and knows where I get off – everyday. Maybe the STOP REQUESTED sign should be right on his steering wheel where he will see it no matter what… on that same note, the “DING” should be amplified right above him – he does use a microphone to announce the important stops… if we have to hear him, he should hear us, too! I don’t like screaming for the bus to stop, it creates too much attention. Next time, I’ll just yell out, “DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!” Nah, never mind. Someone will think they won something.

Getting cozy on public transportation

Picture this: You get on your bus. It was about 5 minutes late. With every one of those extra minutes is an extra person more than usual so it’s fuller. You’ve got one seat available towards the back – one of the ones that are connected to two other seats and face the exit door of the bus. You sit down, relieved that you don’t have to stand with the rest of packed sardines.

Okay, now that you have that visual, check this out: so I sit down and get my bag situated on my lap so I don’t bump into the guy to my left (the wall separating me from the upstairs section of the bus was to my right). I closed my eyes to listen to Sang.Rael, absorbing every note to “Inside of You.” Next thing I know, the guy starts to “adjust” himself and his seated position, causing him to bump into my arm several times. I leaned up against the wall as much as I could so I wouldn’t have to touch him. Instead, the asshole decides he’s going to lean on me even more. WTF? So, I scooted up and away from the back of my seat so that I was practically at the edge. He opened his eyes, looked at me and said something but I couldn’t hear with the headphones on. Then he got up, sat back down and purposely rubbed up against me, again, only this time, he knocked my bag off my lap. I stood up, looked down at him and said, “Can I get you a bed? The roof of the bus is pretty flat!” Muthaf*cka said nothing. What is this need some people have to touch a total stranger on the bus? I was sleepy, too, but I wasn’t about to lean on a white man dressed in stained Dockers™ that were too tight in the crotch. 8 out of 10 for the man in need of “bus rubbing.”

Whoopi makes a statement on her first day on The View

I sure said "Whoopeee" when I heard that Whoopi Goldberg was Barbara Walter's new pick for The View. I love her as much, if not more, as Rosie O'Donnell.

On her first day with members of The View, Whoopi had made a statement that sounded as though she was defending Michael Vick, of the NFL team Atlanta Falcons. She compared the fact that dogfighting in the south is like cockfighting in Puerto Rico. Guess what my friends? She's right! Whoopi merely stated a fact... she was by no means attempting to side with anyone. She made a statement, shared her "view" if you will, with America, which is what Barbara brought her on board for. Fellow hostess Joy Behar appeared to be livid with Goldberg's statement, shooting back the question, "How about dog torture and dog murdering?" Goldberg stood her ground and stuck to her guns. I'm glad she said this because people are forgetting, Vick did something that has nothing to do with his career, nor was there any human lives at stake. However, it does not make it okay for people to cause harm to any kind of animal, period. He, like the rest of us, is only human. As Whoopi said, as soon as Vick realized that America did not condone his actions, he admitted to wrong-doing and dealt with the consequences accordingly. Now, drop it people... including you, Joy. 7 out of 10 - call the Whaaaambulance on these peeps who can't seem to move on - I give much kudos to Whoopi.

Jerry Lewis' anti-gay slur on annual telethon

Excuse the guy... he's 81 years old now.

Jerry made a joke towards his camera man, "part of the telethon family," referring to someone named "Bart" who is an illiterate fag." Not only did Jerry apologize quickly and expeditiously, but he meant every word. You have to understand, he's been there, done that. He can get away with this. GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) got real jumpy at his comment and immediately said it was "unacceptable." Yes, we know, GLAAD, but guess what? Comedians have to make a living, too. 6 out of 10... sorry GLAAD, but you can't let too much power get to your heads.

Rhode Island man tries to get even with mom by threatening to kidnap… her CAT?

Garry Lamar, a 47-year old grown-ass man, decides to hold a grudge with his mother, 78-year old Mary Lamar Grancher, for kicking him out of the house due to reported abusive behavior. Because Mary was just continuing to be “mom,” he got pissed off and decided to threaten to kidnap her cat, her only true companion as she lives alone, and in the end squeezed out $20 grand from her. He was released last week on $200 bail and ordered to stay away. WTF? P-p-p-p-pa-the-tic! Garry, get a flippin’ life and leave your elder mom alone! She kicked your ass out… you need to find your place and live your own life, without her and the cat. 10 for the oldest cry baby in Rhode Island!

China policemen don’t like hugs?

Two individuals were detained by Chinese police near Jinshi, China for hugging in public. They were celebrating the Chinese version of Valentine’s Day, known as Qi Xi, amongst other couples who were showing various forms of affections. The two were separated by police for questioning and then taken into the station; they were not released until the fine of 5000 Yuan was paid – the equivalent to $660 dollars. I know the Chinese have their ways, but, don’t they know where kids come from? Without the hugging, there’d be no kissing… without the kissing, there’d be no fondling… no fondling, no fornication. I guess they just want it saved for the bedroom. Screw public affection! It’s all about hands-in-pockets! 10 for these cry-babies… I hope the two lovers got their money back.

Convicted peeper Marin man wants his porn back

Dennis Saunders, age 59, of San Rafael, is bitter because San Rafael Police confiscated some 500 porn movies and 250 magazines during a recent investigation which led to his conviction for peeping in and video taping a woman and teenage girl. Saunders’ lawyer’s argument on his behalf is that he’s entitled to his extensive porn collection since it has nothing to do with the case against him; the collection is said to be worth some $10K. Saunders apparently added to his wrap sheet back in ’02 which is when he was caught taping the 45-year old woman and 16-year old girl in their bedrooms and bathrooms at the apartment complex where he worked. On top of that were 48 additional counts of misdemeanors connected to sentencing of more than 8 years, which dates back to 1979. He had been released last month for good behavior. Um, hello? Whatever happened to conducting thorough background checks when hiring people? Dennis, darling, if you are in such need of porn in your life, just go and buy yourself a new collection and take lesson from the Birthday Suit man from Indiana… grab yourself a jar of Vasoline™ and rub one out in the comforts of your own home, away from the windows preferably. 9 out of 10 for Mr. Whack Job.

Multitasking while driving does not include the application of petroleum jelly or masturbation

An Indiana man, who decided to visit dear ol’ Ma in Ohio, felt comfortable enough to drive in his birthday suit towards the Indiana Toll Road, along with petroleum jelly on his hands. Motorists passing by this pro-nudity guy had allegedly “seen” enough that they were provoked to call local authorities. I wonder how long they actually watched him before calling State Troopers. So the guy was taken in for misdemeanor indecent exposure but was later released on a $1000 bond. 8 out of 10 - Would he have been caught with tinted windows, I wonder. Wouldn’t one have the same bit of privacy in their vehicle as they would inside a house? I mean, there’s peeping toms everywhere, looking into windows… those perverts should be thrown into jail, too, unless they’re paying to watch.

See what happens when you mess with Cheetos™?

A guy from Des Moines decides that while he’s high off of Meth, he’s gonna throw a bag of Cheetos™ at his dad’s face for no apparent reason. Well the result was a cut to the bridge of the dad’s nose from his eye glasses. Yeah… dude got arrested for domestic assault. Now who throws Cheetos™ at a person they’re mad at, really? I mean, at least use Pringles – the canister will at least cause more damage! I wonder if he opened the bag first. A “cheeto-eye” wouldn’t exactly feel comfortable I’m sure… 7 out of 10 for the Attack of the Killer Cheetos!

If you say “good morning” or “hello” to someone and they don’t answer you…

Well really, what do you do in those situations? It can be awkward, annoying, and not to mention, you feel slightly embarrassed, right? Well, I’ve got a handful of people in my office who like to come in through the front door and have this look of resentment. I can almost see the chaos running through their heads. Granted I’m not exactly a morning person, but it is part of my responsibility to meet and greet people as they come in. The problem is that they make my job more difficult by not replying. At least make eye contact with me for God’s sakes! Most of them have the tendency to just walk right by – and I’m no exactly quiet – my voice carries. I say, “Good morning!” with a rather cheery disposition (it is first thing in the morning, let’s get the day off to a good start), and all I get is their face staring at the floor and the look of “I want to beat the shit out of someone.” I’ve gotta meet and greet, so they better see and eat it!

Computers and Search engines… are they really helpful?

I haven’t written any blogs for almost a week because, well, I have a job. When you have a job, you’re supposed to work and work and work. But I didn’t even do that. I spent most of my time blogging and answering surveys on MySpace.com. Yes, it’s addictive. But that alone kept me busier than the office did. That and Popcap.com. I can’t get enough of the online games. What I hate is why my computer won’t let me download Yahoo IM unless I use the ever-so-slow Yahoo Beta email format. God it sucks. And talk about trying to bite off of Mac computers… has anyone noticed any similarities between Mac and Windows Vista? One is obviously a brain twister; the other is user friendly to any age range. Take your pick: work hard to get what you want, or take a short cut to get it over and done with. Why can’t every computer program just have ESP where they know what we want and just give it to us? Why so much typing and clicking to get to several links where we still have to figure out what the hell it is we’re looking for? I put in a search link to find pictures of crying babies, and Google gives me several porn links. Don’t they know I have a job I need to keep?

The heat won’t end! I HATE SUMMER!

The weather has been so odd. There will be a few days of heat spells, then a couple of days where it’s overcast. What’s worse is that when it’s 80 degrees outside, it’s 90 inside my apartment. Even with all the windows open, the heat is just unbearable. I tried to cool off in the pool but there were bugs everywhere from flying above the pool – and of course they were dead from the chlorine… either way I wasn’t about to swim amongst bug carcasses. I could feel my skin crawling while in the water. It took me over an hour to try and get comfortable enough to just try to fall asleep… and I was in the bum on top of my bed. When all my attempts failed, I went to play on the internet around midnight, and just by sitting there, the sweat came down my head and back like I had just got out of the shower. I almost went streaking out my front door. I didn’t care if the neighbors would see me. On top of that I was horny but my partner had already fallen asleep. So then I was hot AND pent up. WTF?! Where’s a flippin’ Dairy Queen™ when you need one? I can’t wait for the winter season. It’s so much easier to stay warm than it is to stay cooler. I guess it would help if I didn’t have any extra insulation.

Second day of peace-shattering on the bus ride to work

The same White girl got on the bus this morning with her pink RAZR™ glued to her ear. Some of the same people from yesterday’s trip were on the bus this morning… and we all held our breath to be prepared for another episode. To our surprise, she was on the phone for less than 2 minutes. She kept screaming at the person not to hang up. Once they did, she kept looking at her phone, over and over again. A few of us let out a little giggle. Half way through the trip, I started to doze off because it was 90 degrees inside my apartment last night… I couldn’t sleep worth a damn. I felt myself fall into a deep sleep… until this guy that reeked of alcohol and body odor banged my left knee real hard with his little black carry-on luggage trying to wake me up so he could sit next to me. I looked at him, got up real slow, and watched him while he got situated. I refused to sit next to him so I got up and stood by the rear exit door since I was only three stops away from my destination. As I stood there, he turned around and yelled out, “Ugly Dyke! Fucking stupid bitch!” I yelled back, “Don’t hate… just because my dick is bigger than yours!” The driver looked at me through the rear view mirror and gave me a thumbs-up gesture, and a few of the passengers cheered. I wished I could’ve hit that guy on the head with his luggage. That shit hurt… my knee is still sore… it felt like a ton of bricks were thrown on it. He was off the scale – beyond a 10; he needed the Whaaaambulance with a bunch of EMT’S followed by a large tub with bleach and soap to clean his ass.