The bus ride from hell

Yes, another bus ride story... this was extraordinarily annoying.

The same loud mouth that usually gets on the bus screaming into her pink RAZR hasn't been on her phone the past week which has been nice. But today, she gets on and decides to stand right next to where I was seated and kept hitting me with her fat ass. I mean, every jolt of the bus caused her to hit me. Finally she moved down after several more people boarded the bus. Then this older couple (middle-aged) got on with luggage. The wife had the largest luggage, poor thing... and the husband had the smaller carry-all with something around his back. The guy decides to plant the carry-all right next to my hip where everytime the bus moved, he'd move and hit the luggage, causing it to pinch the skin on my thigh. Finally I shoved the luggage with my knee, got up and changed my seat. The wife told him that he had hit me - d'oh, I forgot that part - before he got "comfortable" standing next to me, he swung around to face his wife, which caused him to hit my face with whatever that thing was he was wearing on his back. Towards the end of it all, I saw a seat up towards the front become free, so I took it. The couple stared at me and the wife started to chew him out.

I needed the whaaaambulance there to feed me a Chai Latte with soy through an IV tube.