Getting cozy on public transportation

Picture this: You get on your bus. It was about 5 minutes late. With every one of those extra minutes is an extra person more than usual so it’s fuller. You’ve got one seat available towards the back – one of the ones that are connected to two other seats and face the exit door of the bus. You sit down, relieved that you don’t have to stand with the rest of packed sardines.

Okay, now that you have that visual, check this out: so I sit down and get my bag situated on my lap so I don’t bump into the guy to my left (the wall separating me from the upstairs section of the bus was to my right). I closed my eyes to listen to Sang.Rael, absorbing every note to “Inside of You.” Next thing I know, the guy starts to “adjust” himself and his seated position, causing him to bump into my arm several times. I leaned up against the wall as much as I could so I wouldn’t have to touch him. Instead, the asshole decides he’s going to lean on me even more. WTF? So, I scooted up and away from the back of my seat so that I was practically at the edge. He opened his eyes, looked at me and said something but I couldn’t hear with the headphones on. Then he got up, sat back down and purposely rubbed up against me, again, only this time, he knocked my bag off my lap. I stood up, looked down at him and said, “Can I get you a bed? The roof of the bus is pretty flat!” Muthaf*cka said nothing. What is this need some people have to touch a total stranger on the bus? I was sleepy, too, but I wasn’t about to lean on a white man dressed in stained Dockers™ that were too tight in the crotch. 8 out of 10 for the man in need of “bus rubbing.”