The bus ride from hell

Yes, another bus ride story... this was extraordinarily annoying.

The same loud mouth that usually gets on the bus screaming into her pink RAZR hasn't been on her phone the past week which has been nice. But today, she gets on and decides to stand right next to where I was seated and kept hitting me with her fat ass. I mean, every jolt of the bus caused her to hit me. Finally she moved down after several more people boarded the bus. Then this older couple (middle-aged) got on with luggage. The wife had the largest luggage, poor thing... and the husband had the smaller carry-all with something around his back. The guy decides to plant the carry-all right next to my hip where everytime the bus moved, he'd move and hit the luggage, causing it to pinch the skin on my thigh. Finally I shoved the luggage with my knee, got up and changed my seat. The wife told him that he had hit me - d'oh, I forgot that part - before he got "comfortable" standing next to me, he swung around to face his wife, which caused him to hit my face with whatever that thing was he was wearing on his back. Towards the end of it all, I saw a seat up towards the front become free, so I took it. The couple stared at me and the wife started to chew him out.

I needed the whaaaambulance there to feed me a Chai Latte with soy through an IV tube.

Peace shattered on the bus

Typically, my bus ride to work is relatively peaceful. Everyone is polite – no pushing or shoving, always saying “excuse me” or “thank you.” Two bus stops after mine, this White girl, wearing skin-tight black pants and a white shirt gets on. She was talking on her pink RAZR™, and I don’t mean just talking into the phone, but to everyone on the bus. I mean she got heads to turn. I had my headphones to my MP3 player near maximum volume, and I could still hear her! The poor girl next to her had been napping prior to her entry onto the bus… and of course, she had to sit right next to her! She felt the need to let everyone in on her conversation. From what I could pick up, she was talking to someone who wanted to move out of their current residence before their lease was up. She talked so much that I think 90% of her conversation was with herself. Her voice carried right through my Noise Cancellation headphones like a knife through butter. She had the most nasal voice, kept using hand gestures that would continuously bump into her napping neighbor, who, might I add, opened her eyes on several occasions and would appear ready to beat the crap out of her. When she finally got off the phone, you could hear a heavy sigh of relief throughout the bus, including the driver. She was definitely a 10… I needed the Whaaaambulance to pick her ass up in a bad way.