Anxieties of anxiety attacks

My throat feels like it's closing up... I feel like I have to keep taking deep breaths to get air in my lungs... my ears keep popping.

Great, now my body temperature is changing and I feel like I have to pee all the time... my hands are either clammy or sweaty... my head is pounding... and I've got muscles twitching in places that are just odd and funky.

WTF? All I'm doing is working! Maybe work makes me anxious. Or maybe I'm anxious to get home and get high...

Etiquette for idiots: Birthday and Wedding presents

For those who have no manners or are just plain dumb:

If you have been invited to a wedding, remember that you are eating a free meal and drinking free alcohol. In turn, buy the couple a freakin' wedding present! Don't just show up and say "thanks for invite!" Even a card is good... to show that you're acknowledging a once in a lifetime event.

Birthday presents aren't always necessary for those who aren't so picky and choosey. Cards make most people happy - even flowers or a little something that's homemade. If you really forget, the belated cards are always helpful. But if you have someone in your life that you deem to be important but really can't buy a thing for them, pick up the damn phone and call a bitch up! Especially if they remember your birthday every year without fail... why must you forget theirs?

C'mon people! Grow a set of balls and get with the program!

Keepin' the Brown down in Portland

Today, during a staff meeting, we learned that there will be a fim crew in our office next week to do a DVD of our firm. My boss specifcially pointed out that one person, if not two, in particular will have their face on the video because, get this: their White enough. Yup! You got it! Good ol' Whitey is getting first dibs on a video. This is largely thanks to a former employee, whom many of the staff who have been here a long time know and dislike her. It was apparently all her idea to do this filming with this person because our firm is "full of minorities in the SF office." Okay, you know what? We're in Portland, Oregon. Sure, we may not be as diverse and colorful as SF is, but the fact remains that there are still many, many different people here. The owner, founder and CEO of this firm is Black for God's sakes! And she wants a, as my boss put it, "a pastey white person in plaid" for this video. No wonder she doesn't work here! If she did I'd drop kick her ass into the dirt... that'll turn her to a nice baby-shit brown color!