Now Hiring - Tax Season Suckers!

On my way back to work from the clinic, the bus drove by a couple of buildings where there were independent versions of H&R Block. In front of their offices was a guy dressed up like Uncle Sam, holding a picket sign trying to get people's attention to go to their company for tax services. It was a mere 35 degrees with wind chill of 20 - the wind was kicking but the guy looked like he was having a blast regardless. Several feet down on the same side of the street, I saw another arm carrying a similar picket sign for the same deal, so I thought, "Damn, how many Uncle Sams do you need?" But wasn't Uncle Sam. This guy looked hideous. He looked like he was ready to beat the crap out of Uncle Sam and was about to thrust his picket sign into his own head. This guy was dressed up as Lady Liberty. His face looked like he hadn't shaved in a week and his hair was coarse and dark black while his face was pale white. He stood there, grimmacing at Uncle Sam as though he was saying, "Stop hopping and popping around, or I'll take your top hat and shove it up your ass." This guy stood in one spot. His sign was planted on the sidewalk. I nearly pissed in my pants from laughing so hard. The lesson here is: Find a desperate female to wear Lady Liberty's outfit if they're that hard up for money. The guy was an insult to Liberty's beauty.

Hypertension's a B-I-T-C-H!

Hypertension runs in my family. My mom was diagnosed with it when I was very young. My dad was diagnosed about 4 or 5 years ago. Yesterday, I found out I have it. I'll be 30 in August. No, it's NOT normal to have it at my age, but the fact of the matter is, I have it and now I'm on meds for it. Right now, my head feels like a dozen jackhammers going at it. On top of that, my new doc made me get a flu shot, so my whole body hurts no matter which way I move. It hurts to type even now as we speak. It hurts if you touch my hair... and the sun, which decided to show itself in our 35 degree weather in the Pearl District, is making it worse for me. One of many side effects of my new medication is sensitivity to sunlight. The others like headache, dizziness, excessive urination, I've got it all. Great. Wonderful. Fucking peachy. I'm stoked. No really I am. What better place to suffer from all this shit than at the workplace!

Rear-ending someone while DUI, and you go free!

I got rear-ended on Sunday by this idiot driving his white Toyota Celica. I was at Clackamas Town Center - my wife and I were planning on seeing a movie so I stopped at a stop sign to let her out so she could take down the movie titles and times. As she reached for a pen, BOOM! My neck was in immediate pain. I yelled out, "FUUUUCK!" which we laughed about later on. I quickly got out of the car to assess the damage. I had a few knicks in the rear bumper and some white paing from the guys car. The guy didn't even want my insurance info but I made him take it anyway. He stared at my driver's license for a good 10 seconds, trying to figure out what was my first and last name. The next thing I knew, as I stood next to him to watch him write stuff down on a piece of paper, I noticed that he was reeking of alcohol. My head was throbbing by this point. After we were done exchanging all the bullshit, he drove off from behind me, cutting me off, pulling into the parking log to our left, almost hitting two other vehicles, one being a huge truck. The asshole had no shame. I called my insurance company and left a message, then I called the non-emergency number to Clackamas Police to report the guy's reckless driving and his DUI condition. Meanwhile, I find out that the insurance company doesn't care of the driver was DUI and rear-ended me because the damage wasn't extensive. WTF? Do you want my car to be in a total wreck in order to take action? I don't have a $500 deductible for my health!

Last thought before I went to bed... "I'm a jackass."

One of the rules my wife and I have between the two of us is that we are never to go to bed upset with each other. Last night that rule apparently didn't apply. I got upset because she did something I didn't like. It's not like I have a choice in the matter and I'm not about to tell her she can't do it anymore because I'm not the boss of her and I'm in no position to run her life. However, it did in fact make me feel like shit, like a mediocre ant scrambling to survive, useless and in a way, worthless. I naturally reacted in my usual human nature-like way and in turn was indirectly confronted in passing, hearing the statement, "I don't know what your fucking problem is..." and later being called a jackass shortly before she fell asleep. She was okay with that. I got up and left the room quietly and fled to the living room where I shed tears for an hour and eventually fell asleep on the couch while watching the History Channel around 3 AM.

The note I fell asleep on was a nasty one and I felt I was a jackass only because I didn't stand up for myself. I still feel the same as I did last night and typically I feel better after sleeping on it. But not today. I'm still trying to get over the fact that we went to sleep like that and had the world ended in our sleep, that would've been my last thought of her. Calling me a jackass, and I felt as though I don't satisfy her as her wife.

Restroom sharing doesn't mean to leave a surprise behind.

I never, ever had a problem sharing the bathroom with family... EVER. There were many jobs I held in the past where the restrooms were impeccably clean and elegantly sweet-smelling. There were jobs where the restroom situation was that of a port-o-potty from the Dyke March in San Francisco... mostly because the the job site was under construction. When I worked at the SF Hilton as a security guard, I had the pleasant experience of having to help with a biohazard clean up because of blood that was smeared all over the door, handicap handles and on the floor... but NOT on the toilet! Well, in my job now, I have the pleasant experience of seeing droplets of piss being left behind... And sometimes even fucking pubic hair. I may be in charge of cleaning up a lot of things, but I will NOT clean the toilet. That's why we have a janitorial service twice a week. But damn! I want to use the toilet... and we don't have seat covers! Well, squatting is good for the legs I suppose. My thing is, if you use it, you clean it. The best thing that comes out of the restroom is the fact that the men remember to lower the seat when they're done.

Scientists vs. The Mayans

So my dumb ass got all caught up with researching the date December 21, 2012. According to the Mayan calendar, which ends on that date, that is supposedly when the world in going to end, whether it be by a natural catastrophe or by man's hand. Then you have a handful of other myths following this same path from the Bible Code and Nostrodamus. You have NASA and affliated scientists who say that the Earth will come approximately 30,000 miles close to a deadly asteroid if not collide with it, in the year 2028. British scientists say the same thing only for the year 2019. Here are my issues: One: no one really knows when the world is going to end. Two: why in God's name are people so adamant on creating such chaos, mass hysteria and panic with the public? And three: I don't want to die (not like I can help it of course) until I'm well into my 70's. I'm scared shitless when it comes to death. I want to be able to get old with my wife - have that family we always talk about. The reason why I'm so afraid of death and end of the world crap is because of exactly that. I'm so afraid that I won't get to accomplish all that I ever aspire to do. Whenever we talk about long term future plans, I get this lump in my throat and nasty gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach because I'm always afraid that we won't live long enough to see those things happen. I don't care if you think I'm sick in the head for feeling this way, but it's the truth. No one wants to world to end and no one wants to die, unless they have their own personal reasons for wanting to... but I for one want to fall in a different category. All I can do is try to stop thinking about it, but it's so difficult when you have people posting websites left and right covering more about the gruesome end we may face, rather than seeing people give any alternative facts or ideas to list the cons of those sick myths. Yes. I'm freaking out... Quietly.

Back to babysitting after the holidays

I don't care how many years an Admin person has been in the business. I will say this once and for all. Being an Office Manager is the EXACT same thing as being a babysitter. The main downfall is that the majority of the people you end up babysitting are older than you are, for the most part. I swear... I come back to the office after a nice, long, much-needed vacation, and the first thing I hear from one of the same, typical whiners is, "It isn't working," and, "Can you get more of this?" Christ people! How about trying this for a change, "Hey! How was your Christmas and New Year's? Did you have fun on vacation? Did you go anywhere?" But I guess it takes more effort to be nice to someone unless you see some sort of benefit for yourself. It's obviously much easier for them to ask/ demand what they need/ want. It takes up less energy and brain activity... Not a whole lot of thought involved.

Restore America, Rulers of the Homophobic

Recently, a Bill that was passed in the state of Oregon for Domestic Partnership, allowing an additional 500 Civil Rights to Gays and Lesbians, was halted by a Federal Court judge. The Bill, which was to allow Domestic Partners to be joined in Civil Union and be certfied was brought to a halt because of a Tenessee-based, far-right group called Restore America. Basically, they were bitching left and right (although considering how pathetic they are, they don't know left from right)because well, they don't like the gays. They circulated a petition to collect enough signatures in order to have the Bill sent to the voters. When the petition reached the state of Oregon, those who reviewed the signatures and found several to be invalid and therefore tossed it out the window so to speak. In retaliation, Restore America turned around and filed a lawsuit against the state of Oregon, claiming that the procedures used with the petition review was illegal and unjust. This prompted the Federal Court judge to put everything on hold. Okay, so stop me if I'm wrong. Restore America is basically suing Oregon because they didn't get what they want, right? I mean, there is a difference between state law and federal law. It was illegal in their eyes because they view homosexuality as illegal. Whaaaa-freakity-whaaaa! Fuck you Restore America. Here's a quarter... Go call somebody who cares. They not only need the Whaaaambulance, they also need a Petty Wagon, a lifetime supply of tissue for their issue, and shit load of toilets to spew their shit-ridden mouths into. Am I bitter? No! Not at all!