Sick in the head? Perhaps...

So I'm going around thinking that something's seriously wrong with, esp. after describing my symptoms to a doctor over the phone. Although it was only a "half diagnosis" because I hadn't had any official tests run on me, the doc's words were still scary nonetheless. It's practically a lost cause because I can't even talk about it with my loved ones. You see, I'm a hypochondriac. Hypochondriacs always think the worse and have the tendency to think they're dying of something as serious as Cancer, etc. Therapy for such a condition involves being able to talk about what's on their mind and being able to literally "feel the release" by doing so. I've also been meditating/ praying. But the part that fucks with my head the most is the fact that I still can't talk about it with the people I love the most because my cries of worry are ignored. I most likely brought this on myself because I'm a crybaby when it comes to not feeling well. Could it be that their reactions are adding to the negative way my health feels because I'm not getting the help I need? Perhaps... or perhaps this really is all in my head... quite literally. One thinks that I'm crying for attention. I get attention 24/7 so I don't feel the need for it. I really think I someone to screw my head on right and tell me, "It's okay. Just let it out. Tell me why you feel this way. Why do you think you're sick? What makes you say that? What do you think you need to do to take care of this?" No. That's not what happens. That's the problem. Nothing happens. I just continue to live in fear. I could easily pick up my Happy Meal ass and run to a doctor's office and ask for a head-to-toe physical to make sure I'm just peachy-keen... but even that takes money, another thing I don't have. Talk about whining... Jesus. Someone, call the Whaaaambulance for me.

I have a million bucks I can deposit in my bank account!

NOT!!!!

Alexander Smith from the grand state of Georgia tried to pull a fast one at his bank by attempting to deposit a fake million-dollar bill. This made the news on CNN and Fox News, so he obviously accomplished on getting the attention he wanted but for the wrong reason. Mr. Smith needs, I think, a good history lesson. The only current forms of currency (not coins) that are in existence today in the US are what you always see: Washington ($1), Jefferson (for any of the left over Two-dollar bills), Lincoln ($5), Hamilton ($10), Jackson ($20), Grant ($50) and Franklin ($100-It's all about the Benjamins baby!). The largest currency ever printed was the $100,000 bill which was stopped in 1934 because of the state the economy was in. There were $500, $1,000, $5,000, and $10,000 bills made but those were ended in 1969 for similar reasons - that and because people just had no use for them. No one could ever have managed to have change for extra large bills. There has never been a million-dollar bill in print for the US, except in the game of LIFE by Milton Bradley. Nice try Mr. Smith, but, no cigar. 10 out of 10 for this fool.

Time to put an extra squeeze on OJ!

The 60 yr. old O.J. Simpson is submitting the same plea as he did when he was accused of the untimely and horrific death of Nicole Brown Simpson. "NOT GUILTY." He is claiming he is innocent of the robbery and kidnapping charges recently affixed to him. Of course he's innocent! He's O.J.! What... EVER! If he's innocent, then I'm a virgin. We need to put this guy out of circulation. He's so deluded that he's believing his own lies. I've no tolerance for compulsive liars, celebrity or not.

The everyday-news meteorologist vs. The Weather Channel

Living in Portland, OR has gotten me all excited to be able to experience all four seeasons again after wasting away over 20 years in California. Last night we had a select few meteorologists saying that the outskirts of Portland were going to receive a few "snow showers." I live in the outskirts of Portland. There was nothing! Then other meteorologists were saying that Troutdale and Beaverton were getting snow. I turned on the news on TV and then looked at the weather forecast online with Yahoo. They were the complete opposite of each other. The TV had ice in Troutdale at 32 degrees while Yahoo had rain showers at 44 degrees. I'm no meteorologist however I have been interested in the field for as long as I can remember. We've got modern technology people!!! USE THE SHIT RIGHT! Every meteorologist is bound to make mistakes as 60% of the time their forecasts are usually predictions and guesses. But seeing that difference between what TV and Yahoo had made me pissed to no end. Are we or are we not going to get snow damn it?!?!

Bah-Humbug is totally okay in the office

So we come to the time where we show our merry selves and have goodwill towards man... yadda yadda yadda. I'm in an office of approximately 20 people. It's a wonderful Firm to work for but the people within this particular office are seemingly getting the hang of taking advantage of the fact that they have someone who is willing to work hard, namely me, so they start to throw things at me as though I'm a clown that's good with juggling. What I hate most is that one of the things they keep bugging me about involves the use of a certain software that I'm not familiar with and have openly admitted to everyone that I don't know what I'm doing when I have to use the software... yet no one knows what they're doing either so I'm left without anyone to train me on it. BUT... regardless of this fact, they still come at me like a pack of lunatics high off of meth or something. "I need this... I need that... I want this... I want that..." Lay off bitches! What gets me, too, is that they continue to bitch and whine while the phone is ringing, and I'm supposed to pick up the main line within two or three rings. And THEY get upset if I interrupt to tell them to wait so I can pick up the phone. I like helping people as much as the next person, but if it means it's with something they can do themselves, I'm cool... I want to be far from whatever it is. I won't waste your time so don't waste mine. I don't sit at the front desk to look pretty.

Haunting flashbacks of high school

Not exactly a thought that I want to bring up on Thanksgiving Day, but what the hell. You know when you have dreams while you're in a deep sleep... only that they're not dreams but vivid and detailed flashbacks of things that have happened to you? Well, I woke up at 7:30 this morning to use the bathroom and went back to bed thinking I can sleep for about another hour. And I did. I started to have flashbacks of the clique I used to hang around with during Junior and Senior year of high school; I started to remember where each of my lockers were located. Then I had a vision of myself standing before the group of girls (it was an all-girl high school) saying sorry to them that I shouldn't have apologized for. It had to do with plans for prom, I remember that much. But was pissed me off was that after giving an uncalled-for heartfelt apology, they all (all 7 of them) laughed in my face and disregarded everything. That led me to simply walking away from them in a huff and I never hung around with them again. For the last two months of my Senior year, I had no friends. I graduated a happy girl because I couldn't wait to leave those bitches behind. Come to find out that many of the girls went out talking behind my back for all four years because they all thought I was odd... An extremist... And gay. They all swore that I would be miserable and saw to it that I would at least get to suffer in high school. Well, needless to say I did suffer is some ways, but that's all a part of growing up isn't it? Thankfully (okay, maybe it does have something to do with Thanksgiving) enough, what they did to me helped me to be a stronger person, which made me what I am and who I am today. A happy, loving, caring person. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

"I Love New York" was sincere for once!

As much as I hate to admit it, I do love New York. The girl has poor grammar and she sometimes her tearful pleas with the boys are a bit overactive for my taste, yet there's something about her that catches my attention. And last night, she managed to prove to me what it is that I tend to pay such special close attention to. Despite all her flaws, she is still HUMAN. She had Real and Chance (from Season 1) return to the show to help her get to the bottom of what was really up with her boys, especially with Pretty.


Pretty dug his own grave by telling the brothers (Real and Chance) that everyone in his family had met the girls he was ever in love with, while his own sister tells New York and Sister Patterson that no one in the family has met ANY of his girlfriends. Alright, correct me if I'm wrong, but, Pretty's sister had nothing to lose, but Pretty had to hold his own and protect his manhood with Real and Chance? Okay... can you say, "GAY?"

Entertainer was said to have a bad temper, Buddha, who is one of Sister Patterson's boys, is said to have violent tendencies... can you imagine what Sister Patterson felt when she heard this? Afterall, he did attack one of her other boys. And as big a pussy Tailor Maid is, he still didn't deserve it, and I'm still voting for him. Turns out that Tailor Maid's story checked out to be 100% on the real with New York, so he is still getting hands down kudos with her. I will admit that I was worried there for a second. I almost thought she was going to bring Chance back. But who kept her in line? REAL!!! Boy kept it real for real - no pun intended.


New York had dinner with Chance and Real and got the 411 she needed. When elimination time came, she gave a heartfelt apology to all the guys... and for once I felt her tears were real. Chance had his name for a reason. He had his "chance" already and it's long gone. Time to move aside and let Tiffany Patterson find a real man - no, not Flave.

Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays

The choice of words is exactly that... your choice. Apparently, you must be careful what you say and to whom. Why? Well in brief, the term "Christmas" is derived from "Christ," hence the birth of Christ. Whereas with "Happy Holidays," you are greeting the general consensus with something that can be taken without a grimace or cringe. Those who are agnostic or atheist may not appreciate the term Merry Christmas, OR, the term means something completely different to them. I on the other hand use both. If I don't know the person, it's always Happy Holidays because I don't want to guess their religion/ beliefs. So why say Merry Christmas if you don't believe? What makes the Holidays so Happy? The typical cliche: families at home, opening a canister of Folger's coffee, little girl crying out, "Peter!" Then there's the home videos of kids opening their presents... watching everyone around the table having a home-cooked meal. Prior to all this, you have to beat the crowds to shop for what you want for others. You've got the weather working against you in some parts of the nation. There's homeless people everywhere searching for shelter to hide from the fierce cold air; they need nourishment, even if it's alcohol to warm them up. So again, what makes the Holidays so Happy? Take it for what it's worth - Christmas is the spirit of giving and goodwill towards men - just not when it comes to G.W. Bush - whereas the Happy of Happy Holidays is what you make of it.

Nacho Libre robbed a 7-Eleven!!!

A Grand Blanc Township (Michigan) 7-Eleven store had a nice surprise from a male subject who spent close to 10 minutes in the store wearing different clothes and then decided to portray Nacho Libre by placing the famous aqua blue and red mask on his face and proceeded to rob the place. I loved Nacho Libre not just because I love Jack Black but because its strange humor content was amusing to say the least. So... after the movie has been out for nearly two years, why in the hell would this Michigan man decide to use this mask instead of the good ol' fashioned ski mask with the holes for the eyes and mouth? Or even Hanes Pantyhose to stretch your face where you look like someone sat on your face and passed gas a bunch of times? I guess he wanted to "rob from the rich and give to the poor," namely himself... he's got pick something with more class I think if he plans on doing it again. Perhaps the mask from V for Vendetta?

Britney's alibi - "Oops, I did it again!"

Baby girl, there is no more "oops" chances for you. You need to retire. You need to call it quits. By screwing up your child custody issues, your marriage, and for that matter, yourself, you have given yourself and your public enough evidence to prove that it is time for you to throw in the towel and retire while you're still ahead. Unless of course you wish to continue to sabotage your career, then be my guest.

You know, to think that I once liked Britney Spears and really respected her talent. Now that I look at her, she reminds me of a street walker in the Tenderloin District in San Francisco.


This is what Britney's shindig should've looked like at the MTVMA:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZrD6eYbQBc

Identity Theft is of no consequence for Rite Aid

I went to Rite Aid to purchase goodies for my office as we do our little get-together every other Friday. I have to use my boss' Mastercard which is also a company credit card to purchase the items. The card has his name on it. I went to Rite Aid, grabbed a bunch of chips, cookies, dip, and beer. 1.) The cashier did not check my ID for my age, and 2.) He didn't bother to acknowledge the fact that the name on the credit card was a man's name and I'm a regular customer there - they know my name. They could've doubted me and thought that I stole the credit card. I mean, I was buying alcohol... I could've been and 18 yr. old from PSU trying to booze up for the weekend! Very trusting those Rite Aid employees at NW 10th and Hoyt. They worry me.

Vicodin prevails!

I've had different situations of being "high." The high I get from Vicodin has ranged from feeling quite good and numb to freaking out from noise and bright light and having major mood swings... accompanied by profuse sweating and freakish nightmares. Last night I dreamt of four dead family members.

Is this really helping me or doing more psychological harm than it needs to? For God's sakes I just want the pain to go away! If I wanted to be high I'd be making friends with Mary Jane or Salvia!

Tooth extraction extravaganza!

I've heard horror stories of when people had to get a tooth pulled at the dentist. I walked into my appointment this past Thursday hoping for the best under the impression I was going to be given Nitrous. I had Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon downloaded on my MP3 player and I was ready to fly. Doc gave me not one, not two, but five shots to numb me up. What's weird is that I didn't feel any prickling pain from the needle entering my gum so that was nice for a change. But when she pulled out the apparatus to use for pulling the tooth out, I was already numbed up with my mouth wide open so I couldn't say, "Wait! Where's my nitrous?!" One of dental assistants came out to see how I was doing and said, "Oh dear, we were supposed to give you nitrous weren't we?" I nodded my head as little as I could since the doc had my "open" so to speak. Doc looked down at me and said "Why did you say anything you silly thing?!" I said, with what tongue feeling I had left, "I couldn't!" They all laughed. Well I'm glad they all had a blast at my expense! So instead, doc gave me another two shots that got my all groggy. The left side got so numbed up that my left eyelid didn't even close all the way when I would blink. I looked like a freak! When the yanking of the tooth happened, I could hear the grinding and feel the pulling... I started to tremble. It was so surreal. No pain, yet I was freaking out! I shook until five minutes into her chat with the assistant she decided to say, "Your tooth is out by the way," and proceeded to play with my cheeks! WTF?

I left the office looking even more freakish with my left cheek so swollen that I could see it as I looked down. Every person on the streetcar that I took to go to Rite Aid to get my prescription kept looking at me. I felt like saying, "What, you've never seen someone with a sack of marbles in their mouth before?"