Bah-Humbug is totally okay in the office

So we come to the time where we show our merry selves and have goodwill towards man... yadda yadda yadda. I'm in an office of approximately 20 people. It's a wonderful Firm to work for but the people within this particular office are seemingly getting the hang of taking advantage of the fact that they have someone who is willing to work hard, namely me, so they start to throw things at me as though I'm a clown that's good with juggling. What I hate most is that one of the things they keep bugging me about involves the use of a certain software that I'm not familiar with and have openly admitted to everyone that I don't know what I'm doing when I have to use the software... yet no one knows what they're doing either so I'm left without anyone to train me on it. BUT... regardless of this fact, they still come at me like a pack of lunatics high off of meth or something. "I need this... I need that... I want this... I want that..." Lay off bitches! What gets me, too, is that they continue to bitch and whine while the phone is ringing, and I'm supposed to pick up the main line within two or three rings. And THEY get upset if I interrupt to tell them to wait so I can pick up the phone. I like helping people as much as the next person, but if it means it's with something they can do themselves, I'm cool... I want to be far from whatever it is. I won't waste your time so don't waste mine. I don't sit at the front desk to look pretty.