Roloff Farm pumpkins vs. Sauvie Island pumpkins

I went to visit the Roloff Family, of "Little People, Big World," farm this past Sunday with my partner and her mom. It was all in good fun. I was looking forward to seeing someone from the Roloff family. Luckily, we got to see Matt Roloff on one of his tractors, talking to a State Trooper. When we reached the pumpkin patch, there was almost nothing left. Granted we arrived in the early afternoon hours, and there were lines of people there, I would think that they'd come prepared, being a celebrity family and all - being on The Learning Channel does in fact give them that status. It was amazing on how much more mud there was in comparison to pumpkins! We didn't manage to get any good sized pumpkins for carving, but we grabbed a few Cinderella pumpkins that were good enough to be drawn on. Today, I go to Sauvie Island with a couple of co-workers, and the first farm we hit, there were hundreds on top of hundreds and hundreds more of pumpkins. It was amazing! All you see from the main entrance, in the horizon, was a large patch of orange - it was beautiful. Roloff's, you may be cute on TV, but the Pumpkin Farm of Sauvie Island won you over. There were pumpkins there that were even taller than you.

Marie Osmond was winded...

... At least she says she faints "whenever she feels winded," and it happens "from time to time." Geez, Marie, what other activities have you been doing to make you feel winded to cause you to faint so much? The last person I knew to faint that much was Harry Potter whenever he came across a Dementor or was knocked on the head. Marie didn't even want immediate medical attention. Instead, she wanted to see a doctor after getting her scores. Go figure... she got 21 out of 30. I'd want a doctor, too.

Doctors - helping the needy, or money? Which should I pick?

Doctors as well as dentists and other professionals in the medical field take an oath where they help people in need. They're there to provide a service to those with health issues whether they have money or not. They're in the business to save lives, just like law enforcement and fire fighters. So why then would someone who is experiencing a great deal of pain due to an infection that could worsen without proper attention and has no insurance because they're still a new employee or they only work part time, must they suffer because they can't pay $100 to $300 for medical attention and medication? What in blazers has this god-forsaken country come to? Michael Moore's film Sicko focuses on how screwed up the system is. I hate to say it, but if you have no money, you can pretty much say you'll have sucky health. So how then are we so over populated? I know the rich don't exactly outnumber the poor...

Ellen DeGeneres vs. Mutts and Moms

Ellen is "in the dog house" according to mass media because she gave her dog away to her hair dresser since Iggy (her dog) just wasn't working out with the living situation. She cried and sobbed because Iggy was taken back by the non-profit organization where Iggy came from. Her hair dresser's two daughters had already bonded with Iggy; Mutts and Moms took Iggy away because Ellen had violated an agreement - a contract she had signed with Mutts and Moms. If things weren't working out, she was to return Iggy to them. She gave Iggy to people who would care for him and provide a good home for him - and not return him to a cage where there's very little much-needed attention given. Mutts and Moms could care less that a celebrity did what they felt was best... so they're giving Ellen crap. They won't even come back with a response to this. It was enough for me to see and hear Ellen cry wholeheartedly for the first time to know her intentions were good. Screw Mutts and Moms - and what the hell kind of name is that anyway? What, are they into seeing moms screw mutts or something? Ellen, don't let someone that small get you down. If anything, you should shut them down and give away all their mutts to good families.

Anxieties of anxiety attacks

My throat feels like it's closing up... I feel like I have to keep taking deep breaths to get air in my lungs... my ears keep popping.

Great, now my body temperature is changing and I feel like I have to pee all the time... my hands are either clammy or sweaty... my head is pounding... and I've got muscles twitching in places that are just odd and funky.

WTF? All I'm doing is working! Maybe work makes me anxious. Or maybe I'm anxious to get home and get high...

Etiquette for idiots: Birthday and Wedding presents

For those who have no manners or are just plain dumb:

If you have been invited to a wedding, remember that you are eating a free meal and drinking free alcohol. In turn, buy the couple a freakin' wedding present! Don't just show up and say "thanks for invite!" Even a card is good... to show that you're acknowledging a once in a lifetime event.

Birthday presents aren't always necessary for those who aren't so picky and choosey. Cards make most people happy - even flowers or a little something that's homemade. If you really forget, the belated cards are always helpful. But if you have someone in your life that you deem to be important but really can't buy a thing for them, pick up the damn phone and call a bitch up! Especially if they remember your birthday every year without fail... why must you forget theirs?

C'mon people! Grow a set of balls and get with the program!

Keepin' the Brown down in Portland

Today, during a staff meeting, we learned that there will be a fim crew in our office next week to do a DVD of our firm. My boss specifcially pointed out that one person, if not two, in particular will have their face on the video because, get this: their White enough. Yup! You got it! Good ol' Whitey is getting first dibs on a video. This is largely thanks to a former employee, whom many of the staff who have been here a long time know and dislike her. It was apparently all her idea to do this filming with this person because our firm is "full of minorities in the SF office." Okay, you know what? We're in Portland, Oregon. Sure, we may not be as diverse and colorful as SF is, but the fact remains that there are still many, many different people here. The owner, founder and CEO of this firm is Black for God's sakes! And she wants a, as my boss put it, "a pastey white person in plaid" for this video. No wonder she doesn't work here! If she did I'd drop kick her ass into the dirt... that'll turn her to a nice baby-shit brown color!